Mother's Day Memories

Happy Mother's Day, my first without my mom.  It has been just over one month since she left us.  It is funny, I felt close to my mom but we hadn't lived in the same city since 1983.  We talked on the phone a lot and I liked to visit but she often reminded me how I never got her Mother's Day present to her on time.  But I do feel the empty space that exists.  I won't make the call tomorrow.  I won't tell my mom about the coming Confirmation service.  I won't hear about the doings in my home town, what the weather was like and who of my friends came home for their moms.

The one thing about my mom was that she was never not there.  I mean some times it took a few days to connect, if she didn't answer when I called she may call back when I couldn't answer.  We never left detailed messages because we always knew we would talk.  It was hard near the end when her memory started to fail, but we always had some great conversations.  We could speak about almost anything. and my mom only judged me when I needed to be judged.  She was the only person who could truly get away with it.  I really think I took that for granted.

As a kid I made all the cool things we would make for our parents at Mother's and Father's day. It was a big deal.   But the things I remember the most are coffee cups.  Not just regular coffee mugs, these were enormous and had funky sayings on them.  I can't remember how we bought them or if it was me and brother Bill or if we all did it..  But my dad and mom both had one, in fact I remember we replaced them a few years later when the original ones broke.  My mom drank coffee all day long.  She always had a cup ready and the pot was always on.  So everyday I got to see her using the gift. That always made me happy.  

It is funny, thinking back to the time as a child my mother was a majority of my life.  She made sure I had what I needed within her means, she made me feel proud of my accomplishments and pushed me when I got lazy.  One thing for sure is that she let me be  me growing up and I wish today I could give her something that she could use everyday.  I feel sad that I took her for granted many times in my life, but today I will think about all she did for me to make me who I am.

The Rabbis teach the hardest of the commandments in the Torah is to honor our parents.  One's personal interests often conflict with what our parents wish for us.  But we are still obligated to honor them and in the honoring we may learn to better understand what they did for us.  The main thing is giving us life.  How indebted would you feel if someone pulled you from a burning building saving your life, how much more so should you feel indebted to the parents who gave you that gift to be saved.

On this day, I will remember mom and it will be a blessing.  If you have a mom still living, enjoy the moments you will have.  If you lost your mom take a moment to tell a mom story.  Happy Mother's day to all the moms.  Birth moms, adopted moms, step-moms and all the moms that become moms through circumstances of marriage, work or friendship.

And to my friends who are celebrating their first mother's day I hope the day is special beyond special.


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