Monday, February 8, 2021

Sorry Not Sorry

Marjorie Taylor Greene may live in a penthouse in the city-center of Crazytown, but she threw a party, the travel time for most of the caucus would not be very far.  The problem with the GOP right now is not one person and it will come to light in the upcoming impeachment trial of the former President.  But I wanted to focus on Rep Greene's apology.  Like so many before her it was a non-apology apology where she clearly said she was sorry that she was being held to account for her previous actions and statements, but pivoted to blame others for them, including the media.  The clear intent of the statement she made on the House floor was to save her career.  We know this because the next day she was just as defiant and continues to say she has little to apologize for since her attempt failed.

And this is where we are as a culture.  So many times apologies are meaningless, often crafted by public relation advisors and risk assessment lawyers, they are designed to stop criticism without admitting wrong doing.  Think of people who are caught saying or doing anything that is social unacceptable or criminal who are in the public eye.  There are so many ways that they try to absolve themselves of blame while trying to keep their brand intact.  

Sometimes they even deflect to blame others for their own failures as one particular member of the House did when caught in a serious corruption charge.  He told reporters that his wife took care of his campaign finances so he would have us believe his wife paid for the strip clubs he went to with those funds.  Side note:  He was pardoned by the former President. 

Worst than that is the "I am sorry you took it that way, I didn't mean it".  This often comes from someone who says something highly insensitive and is called out.  Think of a politician who uses antisemitic imagery in an attack ad against his or her opponent or a sports figure caught using a racial slur on a hot microphone.  These are but a few small examples of how this works.  It is coupled with the "I didn't know" defense that suggests something that everyone is aware of the person is ignorant of understanding.  

Then, of course, is the "whataboutism" that we have seen all along in the recent political climate.  An apology that includes others who have done similar things that were not punished is the response we often get from toddlers but we have seen it as grown people use this all the time.  Sometimes it is supporters of the person of the person speaking for them.  Think how many times you heard about Black Lives Matter and Antifa in response to the Capitol riot arrests.  Another side note:  There were thousands of arrests made at the unrest, riots and looting this summer.  I don't recall any of those people who were moved to a new jail to get organic food.  

Saying you are sorry should mean something.  Not the least of which is that you will try your best never to do what you are caught doing again.  It should also include an attempt to fully and without question undo the wrong that was done.  But saying sorry has become a panacea in our culture.  How many times do you see someone tell a child to say they are sorry for an action?  Are all those children really sorry or are we asking them to lie to get beyond their wrong doing?  How many times do we see someone say, "If they just would apologize we could get past this?"  But that is not what will truly get us to a better situation.  Too often those apologizes are hollow and that there is more to owning one's wrong doing than a few words to sooth the masses.  Contrition requires real action, and at time consequences for the action is the best way to move forward.  If someone is not truly sorry and not on their own making the situation better,  it is appropriate to provide appropriate consequences. 

Removing Rep Greene from committees is a good step and it is sad that the entire House had to vote on it because her caucus couldn't do that themselves.  This will limit her power in Congress however she doesn't really see that as much of a punishment. She said after the vote that it would be a waste of her time to serve.  I think anyone who cheers the notion of killing the Speaker of the House shouldn't be allowed to serve in Federal government and I hope the good people of Northwest Georgia see that.  Not likely however.  But while she has become a celebrity of sorts, she also is more infamous than famous.  

Which brings me to another person, someone who hasn't really apologized but I suspect might in the next few days.  Former President Trump.  There are so many excuses, responses, opinions about the trial after his impeachment.  The bottom line is that the former President called for people to come to Washington in the day the election was readout in Congress.  He lied to them continuously for two months, even after recounts and court cases showed that the election was free and fair.  He spoke to the rally to gin them up and told them to go to the Capitol to fight.  He must be held responsible and there are few mechanisms for doing so.  So my guess is that he will do a non-apology apology and be acquitted in the Senate who have no stomach to hold him accountable.  All for political reasons.  And we will go on.  

An apology should be sincere, it should change the person apologizing more than the receiver of the apology.  It should focus on not only admitting the problem created but should ameliorate it.  Otherwise it is empty words.  We should strive to hold ourselves and others to such an apology.  Being sincerely sorry for something is difficult.  Many hate to be wrong, including me.  I have failed many times.  But the thing is we all have a chance to be better.  It starts with seeing it in ourselves.  




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