Look deeper, it may give you more insight

This is another Torah minute I write for my families in the Religious School...please to enjoy:



Earlier this week, a viral email reminded me of a story from last summer that had a minute of fame and a lot of egg-covered faces around the world.  The original story was that a group of rabbis in the Mea Shearim neighborhood of Jerusalem had condemned a dog to death, thinking he held the soul of a former secular critic of the rabbis from twenty years earlier.   Reported in both the British and some Israeli press, the story was quickly found to be wholly untrue and in fact a very particular lie--a slam on the Orthodox who populate the neighborhood that is often called “ultra-orthodox” because of its adherence to strict and sometimes difficult to understand Chassidic practices.  The fact that this story, debunked over and over again, still has legs makes me question why.  Was it anti-Semitism?  Was it anti-Orthodox?  Was it simply a hoax played for fun?  Or was it, in a culture of instant communication and a telephone game-like media where reporters are “sources” for each other, that any story can find the light of day and be seen as true.  Let me be clear, no Bet Din, Jewish court, condemned a dog, but my guess is if you search certain anti-Jewish websites you will find references to it.  It doesn’t take much for a story to be set in the closed minds of people.   It is easier to believe a stereotype of a particular type of person than to question a story.
We can see that in this week’s Torah portion.  Part of the story is the triumphant return of Jacob to Canaan and the meeting with his brother Esau after a long absense.  When last we left Esau, he had threatened to kill Jacob over Jacob’s manipulation in taking Esau’s birthright and his trickery in getting his father’s blessing.  For more than twenty years the brothers have been apart, and Jacob is nervous.  Esau is coming with armed men.  Will there be war?  What happens is remarkable: Esau accepts Jacob’s apology.  They hug and kiss, and, by the end of the portion, they are together, like their father and uncle before them, to bury their own father Isaac.  But ask many people about Esau and he is seen as a enemy of the Jewish people, in part because his decedents become the classic enemies of the Israelites.   So Esau, who showed forgiveness and grew beyond his anger, is marked for all time as an evil foil to a good Jacob.  But Jacob had a lot for which to be forgiven.  Jacob had been not such a nice guy.  Arrogant and a bit full of himself, Jacob wanted the keys to the kingdom and is humbled, first by being tricked by his father-in-law, Laben, and later when his is crippled in a wrestling match with one of the Torah's most enigmatic characters.  I recently read a book on this very story in which the author wanted to have the good and evil be cut and dried with no shades of gray.  For this author, Esau was a stand-in for all that was evil.  In order to get around the seeming humble gesture in this Torah portion, the author said Esau poisoned his children with stories of hate of Jacob and that is why they didn’t believe the reconciliation was real and carried the hatred of all things Jacob (thus the Jewish people) throughout history.  Easy to believe, especially when we paint certain people to fit our understanding. 
The Torah is not that simple.  It is a book that requires a deeper look.  Rashi said there is nothing in there by mistake.  We as Jews need to figure out why something is in there.  Take some time with the stories.  I promise you will be surprised, and I can promise no dogs are going to be stoned. 

Have a wonderful Hanukah and happy and healthy New Year.

War on Christmas

As the snows of winter come we can be certain of a few things, driving to and from work in the dark, sudden cold wet days when we expected clear and cool and of course the Fox News hype about the War on Christmas. For the last several years we hear about how secular progressives are battling Christmas in an attempt to destroy it. I have come to expect this at this time of year as much as Rudolph and A Charlie Brown Christmas.


Of course the only war I see Christmas in is one where Christmas fired the first shot. The war is with other seasonal holidays. It used to be that the Christmas season started after Thanksgiving but in the weeks leading up to a holiday where we are suppose to be thankful for all we have, we are bombarded with visions of things we must go out and buy. I mean I understand it makes sense that a holiday weekend a month before a major gift giving holiday could be the kick off of the shopping season, but lately the so called Black Friday has pretty much taken over the entire month of Thanksgiving and with shopping starting as early as 10pm on Thanksgiving night the family meal for the holiday has become an elaborate carb load for the hours of shopping to come. One seriously has to ask if the savings can truly replace the time spent with family and friends enjoying a little bit of down time to take stock of all we have and all mean to each other.

But this year Christmas went on a larger offensive, having conquered Thanksgiving in the past, Christmas has decided to take on Halloween. This year in October stores seemed to have more red and green than black and orange. At one point it seemed easier to find a candy cane than a pumpkin.

But when we dissect the war on Christmas what we find is a group of people who seem to want to control the language and application of this holiday in the larger society. It seems to stem from retail stores and public schools acknowledging that not everyone who is in their buildings in December celebrates Christmas. In fact other traditions have holidays and many simply want to enjoy the fact that they too can take advantage of retailer’s attempts to enhance the consumer aspects of this holiday. It appears however that phrases like Season’s Greetings and Happy Holidays are considered fighting words to some. It appears that trying to appeal to a diverse population that has been part of our culture for its entire existence is somehow seen as an attack on our culture. This has always baffled me but it appears those who see Happy Holidays as not an embracing of diversity but an attempt to stop American culture to remain as it was when they were kids. A time when we didn’t acknowledge those that might not follow the majority cultural practice and they were left out of many things Christians enjoyed. What these people seem to me worried about is losing not their religion or their culture but not having an exclusive hold on what it means to be an American. It is what leads to anti-immigration stances, English only laws and more recently statements like it should be legal to block Muslims from building mosques and that we should kick them out of the military. There is a real fear among the people who for 200 years seemed to be able to keep many people out of fully experiencing the American dream. Today, as a country people are freer than they ever were and that seems to scare people.

But what the people ginning up the war on Christmas don’t seem to see is freedom for non-Christians to fully express their faith or lack thereof allows them to know their ability to celebrate their own faith will remain intact. As a culture we should embrace this diversity and understand that wrapped in the words Season’s Greetings and Happy Holidays are an expression of Christmas but so much more. Our founders understood for their time that we are a nation of diverse religious traditions and our history has been series of attempts both by law and practice to be inclusive of all. We must continue to grow as a nation and our strength comes from expanding the ability for all those who honor our values to participate fully in this wonderful experiment called America. If those who feel Happy Holidays is an assault on a 2000 year old religious holiday and can destroy our culture as some have said then I pity their lack of faith in our system, our people and our country. Perhaps it is they that need to find a way to get their own house in order.

To all have a Happy Holiday season, enjoy whatever you practice and play at, and in the end find a time to enjoy the freedom that makes us all great.

We are all responsible

Recently I was emailed a video of some of the most developed cities on the African Continent.  The attached language suggested that if the country have the kind of wealth to build up the luxury towers of Nairobi, Dar es Salaam, Cairo, Johannesburg, etc then why should we send money to help the starving children there.  It struck me as not only crass but so ignorant.  There are many reasons why the wealth, concentrated in a handful of people, many with ties to the west does not trickle down to the people in the rural villages of countries where HIV has devastated the population, where famine has destroyed the crops that sustained life for centuries and where colonization not only destroyed the tribal life that gave protection to all, but brought decades of racism that destroyed an ability for some to express their own social contracts.  But even if none of this was true and it was simply pure greed, why should we not reach out and help?  It is interesting to me that someone could think we should not be, "taken in", by images of hungry children in Africa as if it is a large scam to steal our money.

The disparity is real and powerful.  It is stunning to me that as we see city after city in our own country struggle with the Occupy movement raising the awareness of similar concentration of wealth here someone could be so unthinking.  As if because the Plaza Hotel exists, we should ignore the poverty that is endemic in places like the Bronx.  But in the video's analogy it seemed like if our country could build Las Vegas, they how could we possible have an Appalachia?  Yet somehow we should ignore the plight of the poor of Africa because of Western investment and towering buildings in a few cities.

There is a line that makes a powerful statement in the Jewish tradition and similar lines of text and commentary permeate many other faith traditions.  We should not stand idly by the blood of our brother.  It means we can't simply look the other way.  It doesn't matter why the person is poor or in trouble it is our duty to help.  Everyone is made in the image of God.  Why should we not try to find an excuse not to help, in fact I think we should look for an excuse to help.  We should be honored with the opportunity to reach across town, country or globe to feed the hungry, clothe the naked or heal the sick.

I was in a wacky play called It Takes a Wizard when I was a kid.  The 70s really was a boom for surreal theatre for children.  In this play an escaped prisoner and Robin Hood appear.  Robin Hood robs the King and gives the money to the prisoner.  The prisoner exclaims upon receive the treasure "I'm rich", so Robin robs her. I was reminded of that scene when I saw this.  The person, apparently angry with the fact that there are real 1st world cities in Africa feels duped by the poverty that is so much more prevalent there because the Cairo Hilton screams to him "I'm rich".  Perhaps we should take a bit of what the Occupy movement is trying to say and think about not where is the poverty but why is the poverty.  But still, when you see a truly hungry person offer food, someone who is sick, provide healing and the most important thing is that given them the skills and resources so they no longer live in that situation and then they can help their neighbors and the guy in the Penthouse becomes less relevant.

There are many ways to do this, regardless of where you are, hit me up if you want more information.  In the meantime, as we move into what it the most giving time of the year remember, you can always make a difference and you don't have to worry so much that someone else isn't.

   

Secret of Eternal life?

I am often asked if I believe in life after death. I say I don’t think about it but I do. I honestly do not believe in a life like the one we have now after we perish. If there is anything I don’t believe we would understand it in terms of time, place and identity. What really brings about eternal life is what we leave behind. Not the physical things we collect or build. Donald Trump for example is not the model to strive for. But it is the emotions, the feelings and the teachings that we leave behind. Yesterday I was starkly reminded of that.


I attended the funeral of a grandmother of a colleague and a friend. A woman who was known by both direct family and many others as Bubbe (Yiddish for grandma) she left behind a large and beautiful family. She was able to see 4 generations grow up around her and all the members of the family I know epitomize what it means to be a mentsch (another Yiddish word meaning someone who makes the world a better place). Her funeral was a as much a celebration of a long life as it was a sorrowful good-bye, the sadness of loss tempered by the memories that made her special.

After the funeral I returned home and later that day I happened upon the Indy Car race from Las Vegas only to see that a major wreck had stopped the race and a story of one driver, Dan Wheldon, had been airlifted to a local hospital. It wasn’t long that people knew what many suspected. Wheldon had died from his injuries. Almost immediately we saw a large number of people talking about this man and his devotion to family and to community. He was always seen as a nice guy in the highly competitive world of motorsports. Other drivers openly wept and spoke of both personal connections with Wheldon and his tireless work raising awareness of early onset Alzheimer’s disease, a disorder his mother was diagnosed with.

In both of these lives, one 3 times longer than the other, the steps these two people took left deep prints on the hearts of many. The sparks they left behind will live on and influence untold numbers of people in a positive way. That might truly be the secret to eternal life, leaving behind good feelings, a family who takes your lessons to heart and a legacy of adding goodness to the world while you are here. And even if it isn’t, don’t we all want our demise to be mourned by many and leave behind stories that we would love to hear told about us?

Cults....what are they really?

Since Wednesday night Jews around the world are spending part of their day eating and sleeping in temporary shelters with roofs that are incomplete and with walls that rattle in the wind.  Each morning we will get up and grab a palm, myrtle and willow branch with a large citrus fruit that looks like a lemon on steroids and shake them in every direction.  This is the way of celebrating Sukkot, a festival that connects both to our ancient agricultural past, Temple times and a devotion to hospitality in the Jewish tradition.  Though it may seem odd to outsiders, to Jews this is a normal ritual. 

I have been thinking about this because religion has worked its way into the Republican nomination for the Presidency of the United States.  A preacher, close to Gov. Rick Perry called Mormonism a cult.  So I began to wonder what is a cult? Originally the word cult was a way to describe a a collective set of rituals and then generalized to the people who practiced them.  Today is is almost exclusively used in modern vernacular to be a people with a bizzare set of beliefs and rituals.  To call Mormonism a cult is an attack on the religious tradition.  I don't mean to apologize for the Mormon faith.  I don't fully understand it.  But I was thinking is it bizzare or misunderstood rituals that caused this Pastor to call them a cult?  Well he should visit a Jewish home this week, but of course he wouldn't call the Jews a cult, because his faith tradition grew out of the Jewish faith.  So maybe it is the fact that Mormons have an additional book of the Bible, a different form of revelation of God.  One could call it a New Testament but that was already taken by the very Christian tradition that the Pastor belongs to when in the 1st and 2nd century a New Testament about a new revelation of God started to take hold among people in the ancient near east and the Greco-Roman world.  So that can't be it.  It seems the Pastor just didn't like what Mormonism teaches and so leveled what he thought was an insult.  Funny the early Christians would have been considered a cult by the kinds of people this Pastor shares ideas with.

Religion will always play a role in Presidential politics and in some cases it should.  But attacks on an entire faith tradition to smear a candidate is not only wrong it is completely without basis.  In fact Gov. Perry has shown his Christian faith has influenced his actions in office to perhaps even violate the Constitution of both Texas and the United States, while Gov. Romney and Gov. Huntsman, both Mormons, seemed to have avoided their faith having such a big role in their actions.  Both Presidents Kennedy and Obama have had to justify the role of their religion in their governance.  President Carter was attacked for his devotion to his Christian faith as was President George W. Bush.  Oh so was President Thomas Jefferson.  But in the end what we find is that our faith is a personal matter that will influence everything we do but also does not have to totally control it.  If I became President I would build a sukkah in the Rose garden, but I would never make anyone take up the lulav.  Nor would it distract from the work of the day.   In fact it would remind of the fragility of life in general and might make me a more compassionate and thoughtful President.  And isn't that what religion should do?

Herman Cain is he Palin 2?

I have been entertained recently by the growing interest in Herman Cain's candidacy for President of the the United States.  Cain, a conservative businessman from Georgia and a former radio screamer is Black.  In fact he calls himself a real black man, as opposed to Barack Obama.  If any of you knows what that means let me know.  But what is comical is watching so many on the right who used code words at times and overt statements at others falling all over him because he is conservative and black and calling people who don't like him racists.  Their reasoning is that when Obama was a candidate some on the right used racist tactics both overt and covert to attack the now President.  They were called on it.  The question of his birth, his understanding of "normal Americans" to quote Sarah Palin, and even those who called him "an articulate black man" like some of my friends on the left.  But no one I know is posting pictures of Cain as a witch doctor, questioning his understanding or feelings toward "white people or white culture" as Glenn Beck did, nor are members of the DNC sending out pictures of the White House lawn full of watermelons as was done when President Obama was President-elect.  And don't get me started on the attacks on Michelle.  But these same people who explained these things away or even encouraged them are now putting their arm around Cain.  As if to say once again, "See I am not racist, I have a black friend".  We have seen this before.  Only the last time it was about women.  When Obama beat Hillary Clinton for the Democratic nomination, within the McCain camp several people wanted to make sure his VP running mate would be a woman.  A woman with cred with the right wing, a woman who could talk to the evangelicals and fiscal conservatives who were leery of McCain and also one that could be used as a prop.  A prop to say any criticism of her was sexist.  You see right wing operatives were already sowing the seeds of this calling Obama's people sexist for attacks on the Clinton campaign.  They actually believed a woman on the ticket would draw in women voters for a McCain/Any Female Ticket.  I remember hearing Palin's name and thinking early on she would be the one.  Someone who hadn't come into her own yet, from a state off the radar and someone who had a reputation for being loud and challenging authority.  I think I was the only person in my circle of friends who wasn't surprised by her pick but it was simply cynical.  There were those who truly thought that women would vote for McCain/Palin because Palin had two X chromosomes.  They didn't, you know why?  Women have brains.  Palin represented a great deal of the opposition to the majority of women's issues they find important.  Beyond that the Hillary supporters were mostly moderate left to far left women.  Some strong one or two issue voters.  Palin was a traitor to them.  They didn't buy it.  But a by-product of this strange tactic is that it propelled other women to step forward and take leadership roles in the GOP.  Nickie Haley, who I disagree with a great deal but will some day be a strong leader in the party and Michelle Bachmann, who I truly wonder at times if she is over-medicated.  And many more.  Not all for the good of the party regardless of issues. Christine O'Donnell and Sharon Angle made the GOP look like complete idiots in the last election cycle losing a chance to take and important Democratic Senate Seat and defeat the Senate Majority Leader.  Both failed because the GOP didn't get it.  Women actually do think about who they vote for and it is not sexist to vote against a woman you don't agree with.  

So now we have Cain.  Now Cain has bounced up and down the polls and has tied his all-time high since the start of the campaign.  He is the new flavor of the month for the GOP who I am still convinced hate all the people who are trying to lead their party.  But what we have found is that we are now seeing blog posts questioning African Americans commitment to Black culture if they don't vote for Cain.  That is insane but it out there.  Do they think this will work?  Do they really believe they can propel Cain to the nomination and try to guilt Black people to vote for a man that has said that the President of the United States may not be black enough?  Who questioned his birth?  Who has argued that it may be Constitutional to block mosques from being built in the US?  That to me shows a real loss of touch to reality.  But there it is.  We will see.  My prediction is that Cain will say something or do something that will make him fall out of favor.  He may have this morning on the Sunday shows, I have watched them all yet as I write this.  What I do know is that the people who sent the watermelon notices and carried signs of Obama as a witch doctor are not likely to champion Cain for long.  This is not like making racist jokes in the board room when the one black director steps out to bathroom.  We will see the truth come out.  I mean when he ran for Senate a few years ago they called him a liberal.  Still can't find that audio of Neil Boortz, does anyone have it, surprisingly it is not on his website.

I'm Sorry

In the song “South Central Rain,” Michael Stipe belts out the words, “I’m Sorry” so often that it has become the unofficial name of this great REM tune.  The song is actually an act of contrition, or so I have been told,  as he is lamenting choices he has made that cost him the friendship of two people and broke up their marriage.  His call sounds sincere, and his efforts to create a chance to perhaps make up for his indiscretion can be found in between the words. Using his art he lays his emotion out for all to see.  In doing so he is making the case that he truly feels the hurt of hurting others.

 “I’m sorry” is a common phrase these days, or more precisely “I’m sorry if…”  Sometimes people think they are the same.  They are not.  A real statement of sorrow for one’s own actions does not need conditions.  I cringe when I hear a politician or media star say, "I'm sorry if".  When you know what you did was wrong atonement does not need a condition.


We are entering the time of year where we do a self audit and ask forgiveness of others.  Like Stipe who was not looking to parse his words, we must not feel sorry if and only if, we offended someone.  If we know our actions were inappropriate, the “I’m sorry” should be as much for our own recognized failure as for the person or persons we may have hurt.  We have once again been given an opportunity to seek our own heart and to discover our own failings.  We can learn by them.  If we only say , “I’m sorry if,” we are putting the burden on the person we hurt.  That is not what Rosh HaShanah and Yom Kippur are about. 


For all my Jewish friends may you have a wonderful and meaningful Rosh HaShanah and Yom Kippur, and if you are traveling or have friends and family who are, may all arrive safe. 


Shana Tova v’metukah.

           

    The train doesn’t always make it into the station.  Well, not as often as in the past.  But that is not from lack of trying.  As the engine has aged it finds it harder and harder to build up the steam to make it over the top of the big hill.  For a while we tried different engineers, but that really was only a temporary fix.  They found new ways to coax a little more out of it but in the end it was the lack of function over the novelty.  Today only one engineer takes the controls and has found the proper way to move the valves and work the shifts, but even then the percent of total success is still low.  Oh, I know this happens to older engines but it is still disheartening.  I mean it use to be the engine could not only climb the hill, fulfill the duties at the station and take off again.  It moved and unloaded tons of passengers.   Sometimes to the surprise of the engineers involved.  But with time and use each moving part gets worn, the steam just doesn’t seem to get hot enough and well we all have known it to just stay in the roundhouse with no amount of stoking to make it go.   What is amazing is that it still has its shine and luster and one would not recognize its age by merely a scan.  But no one can deny that once the controls are taken in hand it doesn’t operate like a brand new engine one might think it was.  But on rare occasions, when the moon seems right and the air is clear we can still see flashes from the past.  Those nights,  the train makes all the deliveries asked of it and it is those nights that one realizes that the train may have a history and on the down side of its journey, it can still be a shocker. 

 

9-11 speech

A speech I gave at an interfaith service to commemorate 9-11 and link it to the tragedy of 9-11 with doing community and interfaith service as a response.  The theme was enormity and abundance.  Here are my words. 

Good afternoon, earlier we heard the sound of the Shofar, the Ram’s horn, blasting and calling us to attention.   Since ancient times the shofar was used to call people to act and to listen.  But it was also a tool of war, directing armies and in one famous story from our Bible the sounds of the shofar knocked down the walls of Jericho.  This imagery of collapsing walls has taken on more personal meaning in the last 10 years and that is one thing that brings us here today.  But today the shofar is not an instrument of destruction but one of hope.  Blown as we begin our new year in just a few days, the Shofar is a reminder that we have a responsibility to the world we live in.  It wakes us up from the day-to-day comfort and reminds us that we have a responsibility to each other.  

10 years ago on 9-11  terrorists used the planes as missiles and killed 3000 people.  But in those moments after the attacks people rose to the occasion and showed their ability to focus on the community they were part of, even if they were taking their community for granted earlier that morning.  Ordinary citizens helped carry less able people out of the burning towers risking their own safety for the safety of others, civilian workers crawled back into the fire to pull co-workers out of the Pentagon, and a handful of passengers knew their deaths were certain as they rushed the cockpit on one plane to save unknown people on the ground.  One story of a stock trader who longed to be a fire fighter, athletic and able to escape, decided to stay and clear floors, try to reach people above the impact zone in Tower One, and gave his life with bravery.  He, like so many, could have simply run, but saw this as his duty, his responsibility to the community.  He reached deep into himself, knowing the task was enormous he didn’t shy away. 

These people, and many like them, saw the tragedy as a call to action, like the shofar it was a blast to our comfort and asked us to reach deeper.   Today 10 years later the echoes of the tragedy are still with us, it calls us to build a better place in our own community. It challenges us to seek out neighbors and find common ground to work together and add to the abundance of resources we all share.  While America has 9-11, the Jewish people have long had 11-9, a day of mourning, Tisha b’av.  On the 9^th day of the 11^th month of the Hebrew calendar many tragedies were visited upon the Jewish people, tradition tells us that it was on this date that the Temple was destroyed in Jerusalem and after it was rebuilt, it was this date that once again and for the second time the Temple was sacked.  It is said that the second Temple’s destruction was due to unwarranted hate.  The kind of hate that often leads to attacks on others, the kind of hate that allows 19 men to value the death of strangers over their own lives.   It is that too we combat today, as we seek to share the voices of prayer from a variety of traditions, all different, all with value and all sharing a common goal of working to create peace, justice and security in our lives. 

The building we are in is not ablaze but it reminds us of a raging fire we do face, not one of jet fuel but one of hunger.  100s of our neighbors will go to sleep hungry tonight, but because of you and the Interfaith Hunger Initiative and Gleaners, many more will not.  Today you can honor those souls who gave their lives to save others by adding your energy and resources to the abundance that is our community.  The 9-11 attacks help us remember we are all linked as a nation.  We can acknowledge it is easier to ignore others, I know tonight I will eat and be satisfied, but I cannot truly enjoy my abundance when others are suffering.  The task is enormous, but when we set aside our differences, and rally around the work of saving our neighbors I believe we can continue to make a difference.  My tradition teaches that we don’t have to complete the task, but we must try.  Join me in the effort for I cannot turn away.   Let us pray today to our own source of strength and together our voices, our actions, and our efforts reach out and turn the tragedy of 9-11 into a touchstone for that which makes us a great community.  

We can learn from words of the poet  Jack Reimer:

We cannot merely pray to God to end starvation,

 For we already have the resources with which to feed the entire world.  

If only we use them wisely….

Therefore we pray instead for strength, determination, and will power,

 To do instead of merely pray.  

To become instead of merely to wish that our world may be safe, 

and our lives may be blessed.

WHEN WE HAVE THE ABUNDANCE, THE ENORMITY IS SCALABLE.  

WE CANNOT TURN AWAY.

Remembering Linda

Today is the anniversary of the worst day of my life.  The day that Jamie Morton took Linda Akers in a fit of violent rage that reached out to reek havoc on a society he felt wronged him.  24 years ago, half my life, I have lived without the woman I truly wanted to marry, to build a future with, to me together. As I read of my peers sending their children off to college, I think I could be in that same company today but my life was delayed by the actions of a man, mad and poised to make a mark.  But I have learned over the years that tragedy is a part of life and truly living is about acknowledging the good in the person you lost and finding a way to live beyond the hurt.  I won't say I have made the best choices since that fateful day, but here I am, a life time later.  Happy, in a new marriage, with a wide diversity of friends, a great job that has meaning and I think contributing to a better world.

In the next few weeks we will be saturated with images, stories and memories of a national tragedy.  It has been 10 years since 9-11.  The world is a different place but I recently read a small article that reminded us of the fact that grieving is normal, healthy and helpful.  But to truly get past and honor the memories of friends and loved ones lost to horror we must continue to live.  For the last 24 years I think I have done that, lived out a life, sometimes fully, sometimes sheepishly, sometimes in a haze.  I lost a piece of me that I am not sure can ever fully be recovered, but I do not honor Linda if I don't fully live and as a nation we can't honor all those lost as a result of terror if we don't embrace the freedom we hold so dear, if we don't enjoy the celebrations in our lives, and if we don't combat the hate that springs up around us so often, a hate like that drove 19 young men to kill themselves and almost 3000 others and wound a country.

The greatest way I can honor Linda would be to continue to fight hate, racism, the anti-Islam crowd as well as the Islamists.  To move us away from radical rhetoric that marginalizes an entire group for the sake of a few members who act with violent. I hope to both honor my dearly departed Linda and the memory of those lost on 9-11 by working to make the world a better place, join me.  Speak out, attend services this season that elevate the good of this country and not allow yourself to be absorbed by anger, fear and hate so seductive to a damaged soul.  Most of you knew not Linda, but if you know me you have seen a spark of her.  Take this opportunity to make her memory a blessing.

Thank you for this indulgence.  

Noah turns 15 today....

Fifteen years ago today I held my son Noah for the first time, seconds after he was born.  There are powerful moments in one’s life and I have been both lucky and worked hard to be able to fulfill some childhood wishes.  I have stood on the ruins of Urquhart Castle on Loch Ness, touched the Western Wall, seen the buildings at Petra and seen the splendor of the Grand Canyon.  All those moments combined cannot match power of holding my son.  And in those 15 years I have found myself feeling at times like a failure as a parent and at times I know I have helped him be the young man he is becoming.  Today is a double milestone as he starts high school officially this morning.  So I wanted to think about the 15 things that makes me glad that Noah is my son.

1.        He can quote Monty Python skits including the over the top British Accents, and not just the popular one.

2.       He has always appreciated good food, he often asks for duck fat French fries and Truffle Mac and Cheese.

3.       He loves a wide range of music, but in the car he says “Do you have your Ipod?  Can you play the Kid Delicious Mix? 

4.       He can daven the Shabbat and Weekday services and even though he doesn’t always want to, he can engage the service when asked.

5.       He cares about the feelings of others and is always ready to see what he can do to help them.  He recently asked me for his allowance to donate it to a cause he liked. 

6.       He has never been materialistic and even when shopping for something for him; he balances cost versus the value to him.  He doesn’t care if he has the next big thing.

7.       He makes Dianne feel like a mom, and makes sure that we consider her when having fun.

8.       He lets me win on the Wii since he is 10x better at most of the games and feels bad for me.

9.       He has a great sense of humor and lets it out in subtle ways.

10.   There are times I have to tell him to stop reading…he reads when he brushes his teeth.

11.   He thinks sushi is the greatest idea in food, ever.

12.   He is at home in a museum of art.  Loves Pollack and Kandinsky.

13.   He acts like “A Picker” at garage sales and at what we call The Crazy Goodwill.

14.   He is curious about the world.  He wants to know things…about lots of things.

15.   He doesn’t truly know what he wants to do in life, but he wants to make a difference. 

Noah has been a great part of my life, today he take another step into being more independent and more “grown up”.  Happy Birthday to my Noah.